Sexpert Kim Anami Says Men Need Sexual Healing, Too

What’s the secret to a woman feeling well-f****d? Holistic sex and relationship coach Kim Anami thinks it has a lot to do with her partner. Few men are masters of their sexuality without a little work, which is why Kim Anami has created a course to help. 

Blockages can be different for different genders 

Sexual healing can be a process for both men and women, especially for people who’ve had traumatic sexual experiences in their past or have other blockages that are stopping them from fully stepping into their sexual energy. Men and women share certain blocks, but they also experience blocks unique to their gender. For example, Anami says sexual abuse in women often shows up as inverted sexual behavior, such as low libido and disinterest in sex. In men, abuse often leads to the reverse reaction of highly sexualized behavior. 

Other traumas — like circumcision — are specific to men and are something Anami says can have a huge impact on the male psyche. She says if men don’t learn how to process these blockages, they can be sexually handicapped for life. They can experience premature ejaculation, impotency, low libido, porn addiction, and emotional numbness, among other issues. “There’s this massive suppression of their natural instinct power because of all these things,” Anami explains.  

Healing through sexual mastery 

Although Western medicine doesn’t always make the connection between physical ailments and their psychological counterparts, Anami believes addressing them is the first step to sexual healing. Committing to addressing blockages is the first step in the process. Anami’s Sexual Mastery for Men course encourages men to embrace their own sexuality and the power of their penis. The online salon includes tips for men to arouse their partners orally and get bigger erections, along with other sexual skills, like mastering the art of seduction. 

In a culture that separates sex from life, Anami notes it’s no surprise that people dissociate from their sexual organs. She wants men to get in touch with their bodies, starting with practices like testicle massages, which she says can boost testosterone production and enliven the testicles. When men start to get more deeply in touch with themselves through these rituals, Anami says they will feel changes in other areas as well. “It will uplift and send creative energy into every single thing that you do.”

What does a well-f****d man look like? 

Like with women, the physical manifestations of men in tune with their sexual energy are numerous. Anami says men who inhabit their full sexual potential will also radiate that energy beyond the bedroom. Men who’ve reached this point experience stronger connections with their partners. They may also experience physical changes, like greater stamina and more control over the timing of their orgasms. Patience, compassion, and support are all qualities that well-f****d individuals can exude. For Anami, these are all positive manifestations of sexual mastery. “We can actually consciously take this energy and utilize it to manifest things in our daily lives,” she says.